🔗 Share this article My Friend Only Ever Talks About Herself: Is It Time to Cut Her Off? We've been friends for more than 20 years, a person who's faced and conquered many challenges, her resilience is commendable. Yet, she has been constantly caught off guard by people. Her husband walked away, and it was a massive blow. Several of her social circle vanished at that point, because they seemed focused solely on him. This surprised her deeply. She put in increased attention to be my friend, and must have understood more acutely the essence of true friendship. The Pattern of Disappearance In the time since, quite a few of her friends have disappeared and she isn't certain of the reason. The company she worked for suddenly changed toward her, even though she had been an excellent employee, her exit happened without knowing why things shifted. Current Dynamics In recent times, we've both left the workforce so we're spending time together, however, I feel the part I play in the relationship is to listen. I start discussion points only for her to redirect the talk toward her own topics. Regarding political views, she expresses strong opinions. I try to propose verifying facts and alternate views. She is arranging a vacation to a nation I have traveled to many times and lived in for a while. I tried to provide personal experiences, but this was met with resistance. She essentially solely sought me to confirm her plans. I have returned from four weeks in that place she is eager to catch up, yet I'm reluctant. Evaluating the Situation I don't want in this role who cuts and runs abruptly, but I don't think she'll truly grasp the effect of how she acts on how I feel about myself. Right now, I find myself in avoidance mode. How should I proceed? Potential Solutions It's possible to end things abruptly, however, that approach is not often a smooth outcome we imagine. Yet having a direct talk aiming for a solution requires bravery and openness from both people. Professional advice indicates using a practical approach to handling disagreements: "Step one involves describing what typically happens during your discussions. It should be objective and clear and essentially exactly what occurs. The second is to express how this affects you emotionally. There should be no argument on this point. Emotions belong to you, after all. The third step is to question how you are both going to change the pattern in your relationship." Consider that she also has her own side, so you need to be prepared to listen to her. One effective method is to say to the other person: "It's your turn to speak and I'm going to remain silent for half an hour." It's remarkably impactful in fostering better communication. Key Takeaways This person could ignore your concerns, for those who cling to a “survival narrative”: they have a version regarding their experiences they cannot release as it feels essential is tied to it and it's all they trust. This poses a challenge as there is no easy route with these people, mere obstacles. Yet she could initially present defensively and then think on your words. And even if a resolution isn't found an agreement, it provides closure that you've been truthful.